fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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