after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize