Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
