I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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