What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
