I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
