I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
