So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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