idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
