I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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