So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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