yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
