carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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