hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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