Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Mom said you looked used
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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