he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
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