Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
