just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
When did angry sex become our thing?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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