i think i have two assholes
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't put those talents on a resume
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
my liver is dry heaving
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
