the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
do herpes really smell.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
