there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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