My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
