dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
