ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
