4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
