We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
