We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
