Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
