dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
