You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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