Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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