I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
