Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
