lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Please, let me fuck your mom
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
