3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My liver just broke up with me...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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