I wish I could teleport
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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