She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
