can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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