Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
