My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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