you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Even my vagina gasped.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Randomize
