Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
