She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
