what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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