is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
