apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
