i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
