woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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