I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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