Define "chronic" masturbator.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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