hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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