shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
