i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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