I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
