its not stalking. its research.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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