Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
this will be a night to untag.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
